Mornin'.
I was reading some stuff last night*... this here is wicked:
Let's see... if you think your butt is kinda flat, or hangy or something... you can go get yourself some "butt implants". A doctor will slice open each cheek and place a large sack of "stuff" in there, then sew you back up. This procedure will run you anywhere from $6,000-13,000. If you just want a butt "lift", which means they are going to take fat from other places (on your own body... hopefully) and syringe it into your ass... it'll cost you anywhere from $7500-15,000. Either procedure takes weeks to recover... and I imagine will probably hurt like hell. There is the possibility of ruptures ("sorry, my butt popped all over your new couch."), or nerve damage in this one.
Or, you can get labiaplasty. Frickin ouch! All I have to say about this one... between yo legs... and... scalpel! Some women get this one for medical reasons. Others get it because they feel they don't "look good enough". Being raised around rowdy boys... I'd say that the "looks/shape" really doesn't matter as much as you think it does ladies. After this procedure is done... you can not do the deed for about 4 weeks and your going to be swollen and mis-shapen for MONTHS. Your also going to pay (at least) $5,000 for this. Oh, and there is a possibility that you will lose all feeling "down there". Niiiice.
Here's some freak stuff here (I'm talking circus-tent stuff): Toe shortening or lengthening. Wild huh? I'm sure there are some medical reasons out there that this should be done on some people... but seriously... for cosmetics, is it worth $2500 per toe? This has some side effects too. You can end up shifting weight to the other four toes which can lead to bunions, nerve pain, and balance problems.
Shoulder lipo. I didn't even know this was a problem until I read this article. If you want more lean looking shoulders... you can go get the fat sucked out of them for around $750 per shoulder. This also takes close to 6 weeks for just the swelling to go away.
Another great procedure: belly button reshaping. Wow. If you want to change an outtie, or you want a more shallow button or maybe you want it in a different shape (diamond, oval)... then you can go under the knife and git r done. Some people do this after a tummy tuck, and some just do it, well just 'cause(?). The doc is going to cut around your hole, stuff fat and skin around it to make the shape you want and then sew you back up. The risks: prolonged pain, scarring, and who the hell knows what it's actually going to look like when the doc is done and the swelling is down. This will run you $5,000-7,500. Nice huh?
The world is completely nuts... everybody wants to look like everybody else. People will let a complete stranger saw on their body for an obscene amount of money... and then get pissed and try to sue when it ends up kinda Shrek-ish looking. The only time in my life that I have EVER been sewn up is when something happened that wasn't suppose too. If you have uncontrollable bleeding... then you should probably consider getting a needle and thread.
A little story-- I have an aunt (in southern Alabama). This woman was in her early forties when she decided that she was too big. She heard about that gastric bypass crap and decided to go get it done. She slimmed down rather quickly after the surgery, got lots of compliments, bought a new wardrobe and was struttin her stuff. She had the usual side effect(s) from the surgery: Having to stick around a bathroom soon after you eat... because you are going to have to "go" very quickly afterward, and the loose skin that developes from where you've lost all the weight. She also ended up having some additional problems, like a serious intestine infection that left her in the hospital for a while. After it's all done and she's lost the weight, she decides to go back and get a "whole body tuck" that will get rid of the excess skin she had since losing all her weight. After this procedure, she got sick again and now is in and out of the hospital, close to death, with staph infection throughout her entire body. We keep waiting (daily) on the call that says she's passed on. I'd like to ask her if it was worth it. Jenny Craig would've been cheaper and healthier... it probably would've taken longer to lose the weight... but at least you'd be alive to see the end results.
Got my little brother's birthday party today (Happy 7th Birthday!!).
Have a relaxed Sunday!
*cited from Glamour magazine
