Mornin'.
I was reading some stuff last night*... this here is wicked:
Let's see... if you think your butt is kinda flat, or hangy or something... you can go get yourself some "butt implants". A doctor will slice open each cheek and place a large sack of "stuff" in there, then sew you back up. This procedure will run you anywhere from $6,000-13,000. If you just want a butt "lift", which means they are going to take fat from other places (on your own body... hopefully) and syringe it into your ass... it'll cost you anywhere from $7500-15,000. Either procedure takes weeks to recover... and I imagine will probably hurt like hell. There is the possibility of ruptures ("sorry, my butt popped all over your new couch."), or nerve damage in this one.
Or, you can get labiaplasty. Frickin ouch! All I have to say about this one... between yo legs... and... scalpel! Some women get this one for medical reasons. Others get it because they feel they don't "look good enough". Being raised around rowdy boys... I'd say that the "looks/shape" really doesn't matter as much as you think it does ladies. After this procedure is done... you can not do the deed for about 4 weeks and your going to be swollen and mis-shapen for MONTHS. Your also going to pay (at least) $5,000 for this. Oh, and there is a possibility that you will lose all feeling "down there". Niiiice.
Here's some freak stuff here (I'm talking circus-tent stuff): Toe shortening or lengthening. Wild huh? I'm sure there are some medical reasons out there that this should be done on some people... but seriously... for cosmetics, is it worth $2500 per toe? This has some side effects too. You can end up shifting weight to the other four toes which can lead to bunions, nerve pain, and balance problems.
Shoulder lipo. I didn't even know this was a problem until I read this article. If you want more lean looking shoulders... you can go get the fat sucked out of them for around $750 per shoulder. This also takes close to 6 weeks for just the swelling to go away.
Another great procedure: belly button reshaping. Wow. If you want to change an outtie, or you want a more shallow button or maybe you want it in a different shape (diamond, oval)... then you can go under the knife and git r done. Some people do this after a tummy tuck, and some just do it, well just 'cause(?). The doc is going to cut around your hole, stuff fat and skin around it to make the shape you want and then sew you back up. The risks: prolonged pain, scarring, and who the hell knows what it's actually going to look like when the doc is done and the swelling is down. This will run you $5,000-7,500. Nice huh?
The world is completely nuts... everybody wants to look like everybody else. People will let a complete stranger saw on their body for an obscene amount of money... and then get pissed and try to sue when it ends up kinda Shrek-ish looking. The only time in my life that I have EVER been sewn up is when something happened that wasn't suppose too. If you have uncontrollable bleeding... then you should probably consider getting a needle and thread.
A little story-- I have an aunt (in southern Alabama). This woman was in her early forties when she decided that she was too big. She heard about that gastric bypass crap and decided to go get it done. She slimmed down rather quickly after the surgery, got lots of compliments, bought a new wardrobe and was struttin her stuff. She had the usual side effect(s) from the surgery: Having to stick around a bathroom soon after you eat... because you are going to have to "go" very quickly afterward, and the loose skin that developes from where you've lost all the weight. She also ended up having some additional problems, like a serious intestine infection that left her in the hospital for a while. After it's all done and she's lost the weight, she decides to go back and get a "whole body tuck" that will get rid of the excess skin she had since losing all her weight. After this procedure, she got sick again and now is in and out of the hospital, close to death, with staph infection throughout her entire body. We keep waiting (daily) on the call that says she's passed on. I'd like to ask her if it was worth it. Jenny Craig would've been cheaper and healthier... it probably would've taken longer to lose the weight... but at least you'd be alive to see the end results.
Got my little brother's birthday party today (Happy 7th Birthday!!).
Have a relaxed Sunday!
*cited from Glamour magazine
About Me
3/9/08
tis me!
Blog from 3/8/08:
I'm b-b-b-b-back!
Wooohooo...
I'm alive! AND the chili supper is over! Right on!!
Celebrating birthdays n'stuff this weekend. Hoping yall are having a good one!!
Muuaaahhh Be back in a day-er-two.
I'm b-b-b-b-back!
Wooohooo...
I'm alive! AND the chili supper is over! Right on!!
Celebrating birthdays n'stuff this weekend. Hoping yall are having a good one!!
Muuaaahhh Be back in a day-er-two.
meatless picture people
Blog from 3/5/08:
Upon entering the MySpace site... there is a video for "world's biggest leach" (I didn't watch it). That's disgusting! I don't know what it is about blood... I just can't handle it. I'd love to be able to donate blood to those blood banks (red cross), but I just can't do it. I pass out WATCHING people giving blood. I can't help it. I pretty much hit the floor every time I have to have blood drawn or a finger-prick. Crazy huh? Yeah, my nurses make fun of me every time. It's like this running joke. Yeah, funny... glad we're getting a laugh at my weaknesses. Funny shit, huh? -smack smack-
Counting down the days (2!)... the chili supper is almost over. Woohooo. I know, I know, my husband is getting sick of hearing me bitch too.
My photo class ended on Tuesday. (I'm gearing up to take another.) That last class was kind of a joke. We didn't even get our cameras out or go over our homework (on that last day)... we instead talked about organic foods and vegetarianism (-a word?). I shouldn't have even attended. Guess what!!-- I'm evil as all hell cause I butcher (and eat!!) cows, I am feeding my kids Splenda, I serve my family lettuce that has been sprayed for... (whatever crawls on it?), and I gave my little girl a Tootsie-Roll sucker. Look at me. Aren't I the frickin devil.
Anyway... some huge-ass lady (amazon woman!) started in on how Splenda kills ants.
Amazon Chic (7'3", 456 lbs...): "Splenda is a horrible creation. It's used to kill ants!"
Random opinionated girl who should just shut the hell up before she gets her ass kicked (hehe): "I use Splenda in all my stuff. I don't feed my kids very much sugar... only on special occasions."
Amazon: "Your feeding your kids that stuff? Your giving them ant poison!! Don't you feel bad about that? Your giving your children a substance that terminates and wipes out many colonies."
(Ants are our friends??)
girl: "Do you eat rice?"
Amazon: "All the time. I love oriental food!"
girl: (dramatic-like...) "Oh my god your eating bird poison!! Your eating a substance that kills many many birds at a time! They don't even use the toxic stuff at weddings anymore because of this... and your eating it!!"
Amazon: (rolls her eyes)
Stupid people should not go out into public.
THEN... I get jumped on because I hunt "bambi" (I get this one a lot... mainly from other females... so it didn't surprise me), and for butchering and eating cows. Little did I know- I am "butchering a defenseless animal that has done nothing (to me) and requires nothing out of me but (my) grass". Mmmmhmmm. Obviously these people don't know the price of hay (in a state that's suffered drought for 2 yrs) or the price of corn (-drought there again), plus all the other costs (fence, shots...). Those poor, stupid stupid animals. Aren't I the devil. I should have told them the method I use to butcher a chicken... old bats are likely to have had a heart attack. Hehehe.
... If your a dumb ass... please please do not go out into public... it just makes more work for the rest of us.
Oh and-- While this animal-rights discussion is going on the sweet old lady next to me is asking me if I can go over that bit on how to "attach pictures to an email just one more time" for her. -banging head on desk repeatedly-
I've been busy doin' this thang (you know what "thang" I'm talkin 'bout... fund raiser). I have a weekend chalkfull of 'stuff' to do. Lotsa stuff. After this weekend things should slow down quite a bit. I'm ready.
Happy Thurs-dee.
Upon entering the MySpace site... there is a video for "world's biggest leach" (I didn't watch it). That's disgusting! I don't know what it is about blood... I just can't handle it. I'd love to be able to donate blood to those blood banks (red cross), but I just can't do it. I pass out WATCHING people giving blood. I can't help it. I pretty much hit the floor every time I have to have blood drawn or a finger-prick. Crazy huh? Yeah, my nurses make fun of me every time. It's like this running joke. Yeah, funny... glad we're getting a laugh at my weaknesses. Funny shit, huh? -smack smack-
Counting down the days (2!)... the chili supper is almost over. Woohooo. I know, I know, my husband is getting sick of hearing me bitch too.
My photo class ended on Tuesday. (I'm gearing up to take another.) That last class was kind of a joke. We didn't even get our cameras out or go over our homework (on that last day)... we instead talked about organic foods and vegetarianism (-a word?). I shouldn't have even attended. Guess what!!-- I'm evil as all hell cause I butcher (and eat!!) cows, I am feeding my kids Splenda, I serve my family lettuce that has been sprayed for... (whatever crawls on it?), and I gave my little girl a Tootsie-Roll sucker. Look at me. Aren't I the frickin devil.
Anyway... some huge-ass lady (amazon woman!) started in on how Splenda kills ants.
Amazon Chic (7'3", 456 lbs...): "Splenda is a horrible creation. It's used to kill ants!"
Random opinionated girl who should just shut the hell up before she gets her ass kicked (hehe): "I use Splenda in all my stuff. I don't feed my kids very much sugar... only on special occasions."
Amazon: "Your feeding your kids that stuff? Your giving them ant poison!! Don't you feel bad about that? Your giving your children a substance that terminates and wipes out many colonies."
(Ants are our friends??)
girl: "Do you eat rice?"
Amazon: "All the time. I love oriental food!"
girl: (dramatic-like...) "Oh my god your eating bird poison!! Your eating a substance that kills many many birds at a time! They don't even use the toxic stuff at weddings anymore because of this... and your eating it!!"
Amazon: (rolls her eyes)
Stupid people should not go out into public.
THEN... I get jumped on because I hunt "bambi" (I get this one a lot... mainly from other females... so it didn't surprise me), and for butchering and eating cows. Little did I know- I am "butchering a defenseless animal that has done nothing (to me) and requires nothing out of me but (my) grass". Mmmmhmmm. Obviously these people don't know the price of hay (in a state that's suffered drought for 2 yrs) or the price of corn (-drought there again), plus all the other costs (fence, shots...). Those poor, stupid stupid animals. Aren't I the devil. I should have told them the method I use to butcher a chicken... old bats are likely to have had a heart attack. Hehehe.
... If your a dumb ass... please please do not go out into public... it just makes more work for the rest of us.
Oh and-- While this animal-rights discussion is going on the sweet old lady next to me is asking me if I can go over that bit on how to "attach pictures to an email just one more time" for her. -banging head on desk repeatedly-
I've been busy doin' this thang (you know what "thang" I'm talkin 'bout... fund raiser). I have a weekend chalkfull of 'stuff' to do. Lotsa stuff. After this weekend things should slow down quite a bit. I'm ready.
Happy Thurs-dee.
help me...
3/3/08:
Dear Lord,
Please God, help me to resist the evil Cadbury eggs that satan has placed in every frickin store I walk into. Especially those caramel-filled ones. -You know the ones... with the rich carmal-ee texture that slowly drips out of the fine chocolatey hollow egg. If you could do this for me Lord... and please keep me from being damned with all the red jellybeans a girl could possibly eat this Easter.
Thank you Lord.
... and bless the pigmys in New Guinea.
Amen.
Dear Lord,
Please God, help me to resist the evil Cadbury eggs that satan has placed in every frickin store I walk into. Especially those caramel-filled ones. -You know the ones... with the rich carmal-ee texture that slowly drips out of the fine chocolatey hollow egg. If you could do this for me Lord... and please keep me from being damned with all the red jellybeans a girl could possibly eat this Easter.
Thank you Lord.
... and bless the pigmys in New Guinea.
Amen.
this n' that
Blog from 3/3/08:
Been offline... but you know what I've been doing (cussing fundraiser). It's at the end of this week, so maybe I won't be as busy when this deal is all done. Yeah right... they'll have me jumping through other hoops by then. I like to participate in other things throughout the year (like Relay For Life), but the school has kinda got me strapped on time with what they (alone!) are wanting. Crazy.
My last digital photo class is on Tuesday night (tomorrow). That means tomorrow will be a hectic day. (Class days always are.) There is just waaaaay too much to do on those days. Try to cram everything in the day that doesn't have enough hours to cover half of it. Anyway, I'm kinda past what's being taught in this class... but it's good to start from somewhere. Next I'm going to more advanced. I think I'll be able to stay awake a little easier in that one. I have a lot of trouble staying awake when I am completely bored out of my frickin mind. J and I have been discussing studio options, some finances, and I've got a portfolio to work on (but it ain't gonna happen this month!).
Friday I worked on my fundraiser all day. Mom came out to the house to visit with me and the girls (J was at work till Saturday morning). Later, I cleaned house, cooked dinner, did baths, and all that good stuff. With the kids whining to go see Grandpa (and vice-versa), I decided to take them up there for the night and get out a little. -Why stay home by myself? I didn't get out till about 9. Kinda chilled, had a drink, sat and visited with my best friend. Came home, ate a late dinner and hit the hay.
I woke up pretty early (for a Saturday morning with no kids)... at 6am. Pulled myself together and went into town to do some shopping. I took my littlest with me. She loves to go shopping! My oldest couldn't care less... so she continued to stay with Grandma & Grandpa for a portion of that day. J came home that morning and crashed, as he'd been up since 9pm the previous night (driving). The little 'un and me shopped more than we could handle. No, not fun shopping, it was grocery shopping. (And had to pick up a few tractor and chainsaw parts/pieces.) We met my mom and little brother for lunch, ran into 900 people we knew at the restaurant, and then went home to pick up my oldest and wake up the big guy. Then, we went out on the wheelers to the pasture to fix fence and trim up brush where the fence will go. Fun, huh? Saturday night we rested, had a great steak dinner, did the family thing & movies, and then put the kids to bed. We were all frickin tired! It was good to get in some time with the hubby, even if it did involve barbwire and a chainsaw, we've been really busy the past couple of weeks.
Sunday we had a family dinner to go to. A meeting for Relay For Life. I'm not participating in the fundraising this year, as I've got too much other stuff going right now. I'd like to try and participate in the get-togethers and functions though. Anyway, we had a really good time at the family dinner and got in a lot of visiting. (Brandy it was awesome to see you, Nic, and the kiddos!) Sunday night we chilled out at the house. Me and the hubby cooked up some stuff together and watched a Barbie movie with our oldest daughter. Yes, it was swirl-head Barbie.
This week is going to be the craziest week ever. I've got digital classes, an appointment for maintenance on my Jeep, school, 3 decorating and committee meetings for the Chili Supper fundraiser, then the Chili Supper itself, J and I are going to the city to do "us" things on Saturday, a union meeting, and my little brother's family-only birthday party on Sunday. Somewhere in there I've got to fit in a couple of doctor appointments too. My daughter's spring break starts on Friday. She's not as thrilled about this as I would be. Kids confuse me a lot of the time though too. Next week is my best friends' birthday on Friday, and then mine on Sunday. We have plans to do something on Saturday night... but not sure what yet. I'm thinkin though, that it would be nicer to get a pizza (with the hubby... if he's home), take the kids to the sitters', rent some spooky movies (or perhaps some chic flix) and stay in. Snaggin season starts on Saturday the 15th! Woohooo! -Got a couple of boats lined up to do the deed. Good times, good beer, and awesome fish!
Once this chili deal gets over, then I've got a family birthday party for my daughter, then her slumber party (with 6 of her little girly friends), and then there is Easter. -Easter is always a huge deal for us... there's the dresses (-NEVER underestimate the deal of the dresses), the 900 eggs that have to be just the right colors, the chocolate(!), whatever dinners and get togethers that are planned (mom?), and church.
Well, that's what I'm up to. I didn't fall off the Earth or nothin. Talk to ya later on in the week.
Have a kickass Monday & Tuesday!
Been offline... but you know what I've been doing (cussing fundraiser). It's at the end of this week, so maybe I won't be as busy when this deal is all done. Yeah right... they'll have me jumping through other hoops by then. I like to participate in other things throughout the year (like Relay For Life), but the school has kinda got me strapped on time with what they (alone!) are wanting. Crazy.
My last digital photo class is on Tuesday night (tomorrow). That means tomorrow will be a hectic day. (Class days always are.) There is just waaaaay too much to do on those days. Try to cram everything in the day that doesn't have enough hours to cover half of it. Anyway, I'm kinda past what's being taught in this class... but it's good to start from somewhere. Next I'm going to more advanced. I think I'll be able to stay awake a little easier in that one. I have a lot of trouble staying awake when I am completely bored out of my frickin mind. J and I have been discussing studio options, some finances, and I've got a portfolio to work on (but it ain't gonna happen this month!).
Friday I worked on my fundraiser all day. Mom came out to the house to visit with me and the girls (J was at work till Saturday morning). Later, I cleaned house, cooked dinner, did baths, and all that good stuff. With the kids whining to go see Grandpa (and vice-versa), I decided to take them up there for the night and get out a little. -Why stay home by myself? I didn't get out till about 9. Kinda chilled, had a drink, sat and visited with my best friend. Came home, ate a late dinner and hit the hay.
I woke up pretty early (for a Saturday morning with no kids)... at 6am. Pulled myself together and went into town to do some shopping. I took my littlest with me. She loves to go shopping! My oldest couldn't care less... so she continued to stay with Grandma & Grandpa for a portion of that day. J came home that morning and crashed, as he'd been up since 9pm the previous night (driving). The little 'un and me shopped more than we could handle. No, not fun shopping, it was grocery shopping. (And had to pick up a few tractor and chainsaw parts/pieces.) We met my mom and little brother for lunch, ran into 900 people we knew at the restaurant, and then went home to pick up my oldest and wake up the big guy. Then, we went out on the wheelers to the pasture to fix fence and trim up brush where the fence will go. Fun, huh? Saturday night we rested, had a great steak dinner, did the family thing & movies, and then put the kids to bed. We were all frickin tired! It was good to get in some time with the hubby, even if it did involve barbwire and a chainsaw, we've been really busy the past couple of weeks.
Sunday we had a family dinner to go to. A meeting for Relay For Life. I'm not participating in the fundraising this year, as I've got too much other stuff going right now. I'd like to try and participate in the get-togethers and functions though. Anyway, we had a really good time at the family dinner and got in a lot of visiting. (Brandy it was awesome to see you, Nic, and the kiddos!) Sunday night we chilled out at the house. Me and the hubby cooked up some stuff together and watched a Barbie movie with our oldest daughter. Yes, it was swirl-head Barbie.
This week is going to be the craziest week ever. I've got digital classes, an appointment for maintenance on my Jeep, school, 3 decorating and committee meetings for the Chili Supper fundraiser, then the Chili Supper itself, J and I are going to the city to do "us" things on Saturday, a union meeting, and my little brother's family-only birthday party on Sunday. Somewhere in there I've got to fit in a couple of doctor appointments too. My daughter's spring break starts on Friday. She's not as thrilled about this as I would be. Kids confuse me a lot of the time though too. Next week is my best friends' birthday on Friday, and then mine on Sunday. We have plans to do something on Saturday night... but not sure what yet. I'm thinkin though, that it would be nicer to get a pizza (with the hubby... if he's home), take the kids to the sitters', rent some spooky movies (or perhaps some chic flix) and stay in. Snaggin season starts on Saturday the 15th! Woohooo! -Got a couple of boats lined up to do the deed. Good times, good beer, and awesome fish!
Once this chili deal gets over, then I've got a family birthday party for my daughter, then her slumber party (with 6 of her little girly friends), and then there is Easter. -Easter is always a huge deal for us... there's the dresses (-NEVER underestimate the deal of the dresses), the 900 eggs that have to be just the right colors, the chocolate(!), whatever dinners and get togethers that are planned (mom?), and church.
Well, that's what I'm up to. I didn't fall off the Earth or nothin. Talk to ya later on in the week.
Have a kickass Monday & Tuesday!
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